Michael

To My Love,

It seems that you have been left out a bit among all the posts. But not forgotten. You are always there. My backbone really. Having you home so much during the holidays has reminded me just how much I love being with you. I love your laughter, your smile, and your sanity among the chaos. I love the way you hold my hand when we walk and how you know just the right moment to give me a hug.

Thank you for the long drives, the coffee breaks, for taking out the trash, making countless meals, bathing babies, vacumning, kisses, the humor, getting up in the middle of the night, and the numerous trips to Target.

I love you Michael!

Short Blurp

Daddy to Bella: You are such a cool chick!

Bella to Daddy: I'm NOT A CHICKEN!

This gift

My happy but tired body wants to give many thanks to my mom and dad tonight. With their ridiculously generous Christmas gift we just had a remarkable, memorable, amazingly fun two days! Thank you! For the longest time we wanted to take the kids to a water park. They both love their baths, so what can be better than one BIG bath tub? We went to Grand Rios Ramada in Brooklyn Park and it was amazing! We were able to stay the night thanks to great Orbitz rates, and we entered a dream like play world.

We slid, splashed, swam, looked for sea creatures in caves, relaxed in bubbly water, laughed, giggled, and ate to our hearts content. The best part was imagining with my kids. The park was huge to Michael and I so it must have been gigantic to them!

Two things stick out in my mind. The first is Caleb being Mr. Big Man on the way to the park. He was strutting his stuff with his bathing suit on, his 'tattoo' on his back, knocking his sister down, shamelessly on the way. Then when we walked through the doors he reverted back to Little Baby Boy, holding on to us, grinning shyly, and hiding his face in our necks!

The second thing is Bella being so silly! Cracking jokes, acting out people she knows, and dancing to songs she made up! She was brave, and fearless with the slides, and I couldn't have been happier for her! Priceless...This weekend reminded me of those Visa commercials!

Merry Christmas

One word that can describe our Christmas this year is Peaceful. Not quiet. With two toddlers, a preschooler and four adults; quiet never existed. But there was a strong sence of peace and contentment. My heart is bursting from God's love. I am so thankful...for so many things. We hope your Christmas was full of love and joy too. Merry Christmas!

Winter Wonderland

It was fitting that the first day of Christmas vacation God showered us with a beautiful snowy day. We woke up to beautiful frosted trees, soft falling snow, and a scene so pretty it could make you cry. Even though it was early we decided to take a walk. The kids still in their p.j.s we bundled them up and went to enjoy the most peaceful morning of winter yet!

Math

I've always thought that I was OK at math, I never really liked the subject, but I figured that I could at least handle addition and subtraction!

But then a few days ago someone who is really good at math informed me that we are leaving in 6 months not 9 like I originally counted! Ooops.... so yes 6 months left...
Even as I am writing this my heart is beating faster and faster in anticipation... SIX MONTHS! CRAZY! In six months we will be in Brazil! There is a lot to do in that time span. But not impossible. It is very encouraging to know that BIM staff is there for us, and really is taking care of telling us what to do next! As far as support raising- I see this as a fun venture...

Yes to most that sounds ridiculous. WHO likes support raising really? I guess I do. I find it so exciting to tell people, actually anyone who will listen, the calling God has put on our lives. I love being in this place, as vulnerable as it can be, trusting God to gather people around us to support our ministry both financially and prayerfully! It delights me to see God bless us, and surprise us.

Of course we need finances, but aside from that what we are concentrating on is forming a core prayer group. We would LOVE to see people commit to praying for each member of our gang specifically. For example if you would like to be on a prayer team for Bella we will send you an update list every week of her prayer needs; the same for Michael, Caleb, and myself. If you want to join PLEASE let me know. We really need people praying NOW! It is impossible for us to do this alone...

Caleb has really know idea what changes lay in store for him, but Bella on the other hand seems to understand and is very excited about being "mishonariees to brasil". The other day we took them to a Pet store to look at dogs. We told Bella that we will get one in Brazil so she was so excited to look at all the different kinds. She still claims that she wants a pink dog though... I hope she isn't too disappointed when we don't get her dream dog!

To some, six months may seem like too sort of a time to go fully supported. I fully disagree, and am confident that the Lord will provide. I look forward to sharing testimonies of His faithfulness and provision. Stay tuned because I have a feeling that there will be many bumps and twists in the road ahead!

P.S :To my Neighbours

It was my daughter who was screaming bloody murder today. Apparently she didn't want to take a nap... and she wanted the neighbourhood to know how awful it was that I was making her! We both apologize for the disturbance. If you were out and missed the event, I am sure that there will be a repeat at about 1 o'clock tomorrow afternoon!

Jello Boy

Caleb has developed a new talent. It is called: "Turn into a limp, 100 pound, jello boy, whenever you don't want to do what is asked of you."

Neat Trick eh?! Today in Target he pulled out this trick when I was trying to put him in the cart. It was hilarious I promise you! Picture little me trying to wrestle his feet in, with his seemingly boneless body unwilling to obey, and his not so little voice shouting "Nao, Nao, Nao!"

I ignored the stares around me. Or at least I tried to... I know people were staring and wondering how old I actually was! I get that a lot- stares. Perhaps I look younger than most but seriously do they really have to stare? Sometimes I dream of getting a shirt made that states: "Yes I have 2 kids, No I am not 16, I'm 24 and married!" Perhaps if I donned heals, wore a ton of make up, and actually styled my hair I would look older? Who knows, I probably would look like I was 16 trying to dress like I was 25! It's unfair. And please don't comment that when I am 50 I will look like I am 35... really will I never look my age?

Eventually I did get Caleb in the cart. And Bella to stop telling Caleb in her not so helpful bossy voice, "Caleb ...OBEY... your ...mama...!" This Jello trick was pulled out a few times in the course of our shopping spree. Most moms would have just forgotten their list and went home. But I am sure that was exactly what Caleb wanted, to go home. Unfortunately for him, Mama's do have boring errands to run, and until he is old enough to stay home unsupervised, he is just going to have to learn to obey.

This particular mall has a cool play place that we often visit. But his Jello moves got him a "No Go" card. I felt a little bad because Bella was looking forward to it, but she handled it like a big girl. I was proud of her. And I was proud of me too! I was also looking forward to sitting down, watching them play while drinking a Grande Mocha with extra whip cream...mmm...
But instead I held my ground! I was tough! And hopefully next time he won't test me as much!

I was happy though at 2 when Michael came home. Because it was HIS turn to deal with Caleb's new talent, and he is a whole lot tougher than me!

Just Google It

I think that the past few days I have been the worst and the best Mommy ever! I have been pretty busy trying to get our Christmas cards/support letters out, along with the everyday basics of making my house sanitary. For the record: at this point I have pretty much given up on the idea of working hard to make my house looking live able. My kids do a good job at that. However, my dream of my home looking like it came from a pottery barn catalogue is slipping farther and farther away...

Back on topic. Caleb and Bella probably consider me the BEST mommy on the block right now. All week they have been watching movies, eating whatever junk I can find in the house, skipping baths and naps, staying up late, and getting away with a fair amount of sauciness.

YOU all probably consider me the worst Mommy after reading the above. Seriously I don't know how Mom's do it when they stay at home AND work from home. I just couldn't do it! I knew that those letters needed to get out weeks ago, and I also knew that my kids needed me! Without the t.v., chocolate, and lack of schedule I am sure that there would have been a significant rise in outbursts in our home... thankfully I am almost done! I hope tomorrow to go on to happier things like wrapping gifts and baking... Yes Baking. The sheer fact that my daughter has been begging me to make cookies with her makes me WANT to bake with her.

On another subject, today Bella had been complaining of a sore tummy. I was getting kinda concerned since her already round tummy looked bigger, but around 6 we discovered the culprit. Bright Green Play dough! At first I was shocked when I saw it in the toilet bowl, and then she quickly confessed to eating it yesterday. I asked her how much she ate, she stated, "I ate ALL of it, and it was pretty disgusting!"

Ya think Gabriella?! Hahaha! Of course I was envisioning taking her to the ER for her stomach to be pumped, but before I grabbed the coats, I googled, "Is it dangerous for a child to eat play dough?" Thank goodness for Google! Apparently kids can eat play dough, and a large number of kids ALL around the world have at one time or another. Mine isn't the first weirdo to eat it! If it is non-toxic ( which it is - who gives their kids toxic play dough anyways?) they will just poop it out in all the glorious colors!

Bella's First Debut

Bella was so cute during the church's Christmas play! We were so proud of how brave she was to walk up the aisle and on stage!

A sigh, A grumble, and a complaint

The biggest issue we are working on with our girl right now is her whining. Let's be honest; when we see a kid whining, complaining, and pouting it's not always cute, it is mostly annoying! Whining has a way of getting under my skin like nobodies business. When one of my kids start in with that loud, high pitched, spiders crawling on your back voice, I literally want to SCREAM... stomp my feet on the ground..... and throw heavy breakable things...

Humph.. which brings me to my point. Lately I have been exhibiting worse behaviour than that of my three year old. For the past week or so I have had a run on grumbling conversation in my brain that sounds a bit like this:

I am so tired!
My house is so dirty!
Sheesh can't she just GO TO SLEEP!
He left his junk of the floor again!
Really you want more milk? Can't you get it yourself?
I don't want to go to the grocery store!
What is taking him so long?
Why isn't it working? Nothing ever works out the way I want it!

If you are a close friend of mine I am sure that you have heard these comments from me recently. I am afraid it gets worse. I have been caught sighing loudly when asked by one of my three to do something for them. And please don't ask Michael just how many times I have snapped at him for the dumbest stuff, and not to mention pout because I didn't get my way!

I have been unbearable to live with I am sure, and have been teaching my girl a few lovely pointers along the way. Ooops...

I guess I still have a long way to go! Thankfully I serve a God who is constantly working with my attitude and heart, because I need Him!

Poor Bella Bella

Bella woke up today more out of sorts than usual. I say more, because it usually takes a while for her to get out of a grumpy funky sort of mood first thing in the morning. But after her milk, and cartoon she perks up and is ready to start the day. ( hmm- that sounds very familiar- this mama perks up after a cup of coffee and an email from her love!)

Anyways she was miserable all morning long. She didn't want her brother any where near her( poor lovey dovey Caleb). She was extra whiny and demanding. She couldn't even have fun with one of her favorite friends, Mari. It was a sad sad day.

I find myself thankful that I was lenient with her attitude. Usually I have little tolerance (more like patience) for the behaviour she was having. But in the back of my mind I knew that something was up with her. Sure enough around 10am she began complaining of a tummy ache. And at noon she threw up all over herself and the couch. She was so upset, and couldn't stop crying. Poor Bella Bella.

It's amazing how my perspective changed. Immediately I had so much compassion and grace for her that carried us through the rest of the day. My greatest desire was to care for her and to make her as comfortable as possible. She is one tough cookie, and is sleeping peacefully in bed right now. But seriously when my babies are sick, I am putty in their hands. I hope that she feels better in the morning.

I need a tissue please...

I have been doing fine with preparing to go to Brazil. I am Excited. Elated. Happy. Anxious even...Then I heard a sappy song, something about old photographs, and good byes... and I tried to stop it. Really I did! Especially since my loveys see me cry enough... but I couldn't stop it from happening.

It started really slowly. The heaviness in my chest, the difficulty swallowing, and before I knew it tears were flowing... fast... on top of my sweet boy's head...

Nine months from now we will be on an airplane headed to Brazil. I can picture us there. I am so stinkin confident that we are heading in the direction that God pointed our hearts towards that there is no doubt in my mind that this time next year we WILL be there. Finances don't worry me. Logistics don't cause me to panic ( at least for the moment)! But saying good-bye...

Hm... I don't know...

I can't hold my niece without thinking..."I'm going to miss her SO much." Or end a wonderful conversation with my sister -in-law without wondering "What in the world and I going to do without her near?" The same goes for every single relationship I am blessed to have; Chris, Sarah, Rubens, Lydia , Hannah,Chris, Joshy, Paul, Theresa, Jessica, Vicki, Jo, Steven, Sara, Noemi, Matt, Poly, Bekah, John Mark... the list is endless... and I love you all so very much...

Sigh... I just don't know...

Round Two with Little Man

It is past bedtime but Caleb is awake in his room, probably dancing on his bed. He was just informed that Mama wasn't a sucker for devious little boys.

I heard him talking and went to check in on him only to find that I could barely open his door. For stinky boy was laying on the ground, limp, pretending to be asleep. Like I said... smart stinky boy.

I picked him up, kissed his head and placed him in bed. Then his pudgy arms reached to give me a hug... and then another! BUT Mama is smart. I said goodnight and walked out the door... okay I guess I did take a third hug. What? He is my little smart man after all!

My Little Man

For the past few weeks Caleb has been in a phase of preferring Daddy over Mommy. One day he just seemed to need his Papa more and me less. Heartbreaking, I know. Since then I have been eating up any little boy loving I can get.

Tonight as I was on the phone I heard him cough in bed so I made a mental note to go check on him later. When I opened up the door to his room I heard a thunk and found my little man asleep on the floor!

I picked him up to place him back in bed and he wrapped his little arms around me and nuzzled his face into my neck. Sigh... I stood there for a few moments until he was too heavy to hold and started to lay him down. But his grasp became tighter, and he nuzzled in further. So I sat on his bed instead. He was wearing his soft blue footsie p.j.s and smelled so sweet and fresh from his bath. I cuddled him and held him like he was still my little baby, slowly swaying from side to side.

The light from the hall shined on his face, and I noticed something I hadn't caught a few minutes earlier...He was smiling...really big.... Was he awake? But his eyes were closed...

I discovered the answer several moments later. I laid him down on his pillow and he looked up at me and softly chucked! His pudgy arms pulled me into a huge hug... and then another... and then another...

My stinky little man! I didn't care that he was appealing to my heart in order for me to stay with him longer. I gathered him into my arms and held him close again until my arms ached, until his hair and cheek was sweaty, until his body became heavy, until he was fast asleep.

It took me a little while longer to leave his room. Each day he is becoming bigger, older, and more independent. I know that one day I am going to have to let him go and be a big boy... but I'm just not ready yet!

Date Report

I am happy to report that dating my husband again is just simply wonderful! Our dates are short but amazing. Just the two of us, no interruptions, and the best part- I don't have to share him with anybody!

I love my kids, and always miss them when I am gone. But it is so freeing being able to tuck them into bed for the night, kiss their sweet smelling cheeks, and put on my dancing shoes to leave for the evening. Or in tonight's case, comfy pants, an old shirt, and running shoes.

My date request was to spend our treasured hours in the car...(not in the backseat!) But driving around in search of the most decorated house. We treated ourselves to Caribou and chocolate and had so much fun driving, and talking. It is such a cozy feeling looking at the beautiful homes all decked out, while sharing your heart with the one you love the most!

Attention

6:15am is Way to early to wake up and start the day. My children need to be informed!

Toilets, Cheerios, and Curtains...

My first clue that this was going to be a crazy day was when I awoke to the sounds of Caleb and Bella fishing in the toilet. Yep you read right... they were fishing in the toilet! Caleb had his arm in up to his elbow reaching for the clump of toilet paper he just tossed in, and Bella had the toilet scrubber 'cleaning' for Mommy! Thanks kids - and Good Morning to you too!

Usually they come and find me the second they wake up, I am not sure why they didn't today, or what craziness convinced them that playing in the bathroom was better than snuggling with Mama. They thought that they were pretty hilarious! Their laughter made what could have been a stressful moment funny. I love that mischievous- curious side of them. Truly they are little cute creatures with the gift of making LARGE messes.

Things calmed down for a bit until I got on the phone with Michelle. In one short conversation the two of them managed to get cheerios ALL over the floors of the apartment! ( there they still remain!) And somehow Bella Monkey knocked the curtain and it's rod off of the living room window! A few minutes later I discovered that Caleb had dumped an entire bowl of dry cereal all over my bed. Thanks kid! That will be a great midnight snack!

I ended up in all of the chaos taking them over to my neighbours house. She might have been surprised to see me just show up with my monsters, I mean my children. But I was thankful that she let us in, to hang out for awhile. She has a little boy almost the age as Bella so it was cute to see them interact, and of course Caleb was in Boy heaven with all the boy toys! Thanks Janet!

Right before meeting Michael for lunch we went to the missions office to take care of some business. I am happy to report that we already have two committed monthly supporters! I am encouraged, thankful, and in awe of how the Lord is working. Especially when we have been procrastinating so much! We haven't officially begun support raising yet, but hope by next week to have letters out.

On a side note , I have to share just how cute Bella was today. On our way out she declared that she was going to take Baby for a walk. Baby was decked out in a blanket in her stroller, with a little bottle. Bella was a proud mama walking and, sharing with me all of the many antics of her little one. Did you know that her Baby is almost potty trained? I love sharing my day with this little girl. She is one sweet little thing!

Dream Land

Lazy Lazy Lazy...

That is one adjective that can describe ME! Lately I have been in this sleepy winter fog that I can't seem to push out of. It is only 9pm and I am just so tired! I really don't have an excuse for my lack of energy. I AM just Lazy. I AM just Tired.

I dream of sleep... and yet I still am up, in fear of missing out on a relaxing evening with Michael. I love our nights together, regardless of how tired and grumpy I am. He is so fun, and comforting to be with, that I push myself to stay awake! Silly, I know... I just love him!

I have always been one to LOVE sleep. I crave it. And if I don't get it... watch out - Cari's not so nice! I absolutely LOVE slipping into bed, stretching out, feeling the cool pillow on my cheek and slipping into a beautiful dream like state.

It is too bad my kids don't share the same affection for their beds. Caleb has been getting up repeatedly for the last few nights. It has been frustrating to say the least. And Bella would be happy if we NEVER went to bed and just played 24/7! That girl so social she ends up in our bed early every morning. I can't say that I really mind- it is so nice to snuggle with her.

I often wonder why parents of teens rush them out of bed in the mornings on weekends. Don't they remember what it was like when the were younger when they didn't sleep? When just the words Bedtime, or Nap time were the beginning of battles? If I hear, "Mama I just..." one more time.... Pause... take a deep breath... sigh. Parents just let them sleep!
Gabriella and Caleb - when you are 16 you can sleep as long as you want! You have my word! ( your Daddy might disagree!)

I need to go to bed. Good night!

My Snow Babies

Christmas

I've been meaning to post these pictures for a few days now! I love my home being warm and cozy especially with all the beautiful/nasty snow outside!

It seems that all of my creative writing has been squashed by a tot who refuses to sleep at night. Exhaustion has taken over my body and brain! Perhaps in a few days my desire to write will return. But for now- Happy Winter Wonderland- and good night!

Christmas Cookies

Michelle tired of making cookies? Or me taking pictures?
Cathleen making gingerbread men
Debora looking cute
Butterballs. Yum!
Proof!
Marci Lue- What a great idea!

Baking with Friends is so much better than doing it by yourself! Here is a few pictures of our girls night! And yes- I actually baked! And it was actually FUN! Can you believe that Michael has already asked when I was going to make more pecan tassies!