A Patience Meter

I am very glad that God didn't make me with a built in patience meter. How horrible it's viewing would have been today. With every huff, puff and loud groan the world would have witnessed my meter dip lower and lower.

Michael's over time hours ended last night. Phew. Except today is youth group which means the kids only saw their Daddy for 30 sweet minutes ALL DAY! Caleb had already been testing the waters with me for a few days. Hitting, throwing fits, and blatantly disobeying the simplest command. I am one strong mama. But without my backbone my resolve was quickly disappearing and monkey boy was moving in on me. I could feel his breath on my back.

Today he took full advantage of my weakness and pushed me full force with all of his will. If you know Caleb, you know that he is STRONG. Much stronger than most boys his age and older. He is also stubborn. Those two qualities have the potential to teach a mama a thing or two.

I would like to say that I won every battle. But the truth is, I lost most of the face downs.
And he knew it. Stinky boy knew his strength. And he showed me my weaknesses.
Don't you hate that kids have the ability to show you all that you are lacking.

Therefore that leaves me at the end of my day at Michelle's house beyond frustrated and feeling pretty defeated in the parenting department. Thank goodness for Michelle. I love her. I love that she had patience for my monkeys, and her borderline crazy sister in law. Michelle is by far the most patient person I know. They were ALL over her house. Jumping on furniture, breaking things, and picking on one little "happy" girl. Crying, shouting, and getting into every thing that was off limits. My kids. They know how to party.

And you know, for a brief second I actually fantasied leaving poor Michelle with the babies and running far away to the nearest Starbucks. I know. I sound horrible.

I didn't . Of course I didn't. I stayed and allowed Michelle to make me dinner. And make me laugh at the true silliness of the situation. And I did have fun.

As I was tucking Bella into bed tonight, her smile quickly turned into the saddest face I have ever seen. She then burst into a waterfall of tears. She sobbed, and wiped her boogers ALL over my neck. Yummy.

Then the most beautiful thing happened. In between sobs she muttered" Mommy, I just miss my Daddy SO much." This one sad sentence upped my patience meter. And I embraced my role.
And my child. That I love more than anything- and is worth everything.