Who was watching these kids?

A Dr.'s Note

It is official. I am sick. And I have a Dr.'s note to prove it!

I have an ugly ear infection, with a side of strep throat and a touch of the fever. I got my report at Target's Minute Clinic. I went Sunday morning because the pain in my ear was unbearable, and I was desperate for some kind of relief. Michael was needed at church so just Caleb and me went. When the doc finished with her evaluation, she looked at me and asked, "Are you really here by yourself?" Yes, I am Super Woman and actually managed to survive the past few days with my ailments! She prescribed antibiotics and lots of rest! Right, with two kids? But it felt good to be validated, and to know that I was really sick, and not just being a baby.

But despite my negativism, Michael is the true hero of this saga. He offered to use some of his sick time so he could take care of the kids for me. The last 12 hours have been wonderful . He took the kids out this morning, so I had a quiet house. I slept, laid on the couch, and read a little. Michael and the kids brought home lunch, along with two of my favorite people. After lunch, Michael bundled me up on the couch, brought me ice cream for my sore throat , and cuddled with me all afternoon. I don't feel much better but I feel so loved.

My family once again left the house, so they can be wild and crazy, and let me rest some more. I have also been promised a frappichino upon their return!

Chocolate and Pee

Our son's willpower is STRONG! Strong enough to even stand up to m&m bribes! What kid says No to chocolate?

Caleb will, if it means he actually has to sit on the potty chair for it! Poor little guy. He loves his big boy underwear. The problem is that he goes through 5 pairs in an hour. That is a lot of laundry, and a lot of underwear! He is absolutely terrified of the potty. I have no idea why. It is just a little seat. Nothing scary about it. But there is no convincing him other wise.

At one point we told him that if he would just sit on the chair with the lid down he could have one m&m. He eventually sat down on it. And was pleased with his prize. But he was adamant that the lid stay shut. A little while later we found a little yellow puddle belonging to underwear boy on top of the lid! We were proud that he actually knew that the potty was where he did his business, so he got another m&m. We are probably setting him up to permanently pee on the toilet lid! The best part of the episode was when he got a rag and cleaned up his own mess! Hopefully this week he will figure out that the pee goes in the toilet!

For Rafa

I didn't drink coke today. But I did drink 2 sips of orange soda! Rafa ( our friend from Brazil visiting us) wanted me to admit to the world that I faltered from my fast. But I want to say that even though orange soda is pop, it is not COKE! So here is to day 5 of NO COKE! Thanks Rafa for keeping me accountable!

Whole Foods-Oh How I love thee...

This afternoon we went to the most amazing place. Whole Foods.

Just stepping into the world of health made me somehow feel, healthier! Ahh... I should have a Whole Foods fix more often! I don't know what it is about that store. Almost everything is organic and oh so pure. It feels clean in there.

We went to buy a new lotion for the boy's eczema. ( Thanks for the advice Tia ) He had eczema last winter, but we were able to keep it under control. These past few weeks though it has been getting worse. This is our third ointment in two weeks! We are hoping that this time around it goes away completely. The poor little guy is bleeding from scratching so much!

I also bought a daily multi- vitamin for myself. I like this new healthy me... I feel strong and confident. It is nice that I am finally taking control of my body. One step at a time... ( by the way we are on Day 4 of NO COKE!) On top of the no coke deal, I have been eating smaller portions, and lots of fruits and veggies! I even exercised yesterday.... okay maybe dancing around the living room and one sit up doesn't count... but it is a start!

I browsed the aisles a little and was taken a back by some of the prices. Truth is we could never afford to eat THAT healthy. I wonder why healthy food is so expensive? I would love to be a true green lady but it ain't never gonna happen! I'll stick with Cub for now!

On the way out Michael treated us with a Jamba Juice. It was delicious, and much better than Starbucks. Which I have been doing a pretty good job of avoiding lately! We all left the store happy!

Play Dates

( Blog Reader. I am about to rant. And it is going to be long! Just so you know. You have been warned)

February's Parents magazine had an article on Play dates. It suggests that the recommended time period for a playdate is 60 to 90 minutes. I wholeheartedly agree since I have been the mom of not just one but two cranky, tired, and irritated toddlers at a play date. More than once I have had to tear my children from a play date in fear that they will rip their little friend to pieces over that certain favored toy. Or play Mama Bear and shield them from an equally sized, and angry playmate who is clearly done in.

The article has great suggestions, however some of them just aren't practical. The first suggestion mentioned above implies that I should just leave after an hour of play. This may work for a date at a mall or the zoo but if you are visiting someones home it could be seen as rude. And would be rude if you were the one hosting the event. I couldn't imagine telling my guest, "Um excuse me, times up. Bella is getting her claws out. Time for you to skedaddle." I mean seriously what mom really does that?

Which brings me to the next suggestion, "make the location a neutral territory." Such as where? The mall? Tried that once. It was terrible. I spent most of the time chasing two kids and scaring the mom of one from EVER having another baby. How about the Library? Have you seen Caleb read ie:"tear apart, destroy and eat" a book? I would end up leaving from a migraine and a rather large library fine. How about the playground? I actually like this idea. But we live in Mn what would you suggest in the dead of winter?

I also loved the idea of putting away that favored toy in order to minimize battles. I wish that were an option. I shudder just thinking about the scene I would create if I even suggested putting Bella's precious baby on a shelf. Besides if it wasn't baby it would be the pink stroller, if not that it would be the keyboard, if not that it would be the pen cap. My experience with these things has been it doesn't matter how cool or even pitiful the object, if the other kid has it, it becomes Gold. And it starts wars. Loud Wars. With lots of tears, and screams. I have been all over the map with this sharing thing, and still feel helpless in it. I want my kids to share, to favor their friends. But it doesn't happen overnight. * To the mom who is offended that my child refused to give up the blue ball. We ARE working on it. Believe me, we are TRYING, please pray for us!*

After pondering this article for days. Yes I am serious. No I don't have anything better to do.
It dawned on me just why Caleb and Bella are always at each other's throats. They exist in ONE BIG LONG NEVER ENDING PLAY DATE! All day long they have to share, co operate, and interact with each other. I am lucky if I get even 30 minutes of playtime bliss. They don't get to go home, they are home! What would the author suggest for the mother of two, or three, or four, or five kids?

If you are wondering if play dates stress me out, they don't. I love watching my children's friendships grow. I love seeing them be silly and imaginative. I love observing their cute antics. And I love seeing them trying to share and work out problems. I especially love the moms who come with the play date package. It is fun to drink coffee- even if it is cold- and try to have a conversation. If I only had a dollar for each one interrupted or unfinished...

I would like to suggest perhaps maybe possibly that we take these play dates too seriously... that maybe we should just let kids be kids, just intervene and teach when needed, be close to wipe away tears, and enjoy the company around us? Perhaps?

Bella's New Sleeping Routine

This is Bella. At 7:30pm. We have been letting her read in bed, hoping she will fall asleep easier. Looks like it is working!

Coke Challenge Day 2

Don't worry I am not going to give you an update everyday! But this is Day 2 and I am STILL coke free! (Despite my husband's supporting efforts and THREE packages of coke cans in my fridge!) I am strong and hanging in!

Winter Wonderland?

Uggh Uggh Uggh! I can't stand winter. What am I going to do? It is only January, and I am already fed up with the stinky season! Seriously this cold is downright maddening!

This morning I took the kids out to go grocery shopping. Why? I really don't know... I was asking myself that same question when I finally sat in the icy drivers seat, my fingers nearly falling off they were so cold! It didn't help that both Caleb and Bella were crying pitifully in the back seat. They were miserable. I considered just going back inside, but our need for fruits and vegetables won out, so off we went.

Thankfully Cub is close, so the car was still nightmarish cold when we pulled into the parking lot. (Sense my sarcasm? This is what winter does to me!) After lecturing Bella about not whining, and muttering a few complaints of my own under my breath, I stepped out of the car to find a kind old gentleman waiting to greet us. At first I looked around worried that in my cold stupor I hit something of his, or parked in a no parking zone. I didn't and to my surprise he offered to help me bring the kids in the store. Wow- he just blew me away. Really who does that anymore? Offer kindness so unselfishly?

I thanked him, and of course I let him help. He seemed harmless enough. He carried Bella into the store and helped us get settled with a cart. It was nice. Very nice. I am still shaking my head about the whole encounter.

Shopping was fun. I do love the grocery store. Caleb and Bella like helping me shop too. But it ended too quickly and we found ourselves outside again. The way home was worse than the trek there. Bella was crying of cold hands ( I didn't realize she took her mitts off) And Caleb was crying because Bella was. And I found myself apologizing for not checking her hands, for the cold weather, because we needed healthy food... for living in miserable Mn! By the time we arrived home, I felt terrible.

At lunch Michael noticed that I went out to the store. "Wow Cari, thanks, I am proud of you." he sincerely stated with a huge smile. At least he was pleased that we went out! Maybe tomorrow will be warmer? I hope so...

Coke Challenge

This New Year's I resolved to stop drinking so much coke. Today I am Coke Free! Wohoo!

Ok this is my first day without it, and yes it is only a little after lunch time.... BUT I feel strong and excited to face this challenge head on!

I LOVE coke, but I don't like what it is doing to my body. And I am ready to return back to my pre-pregnancy- coke and grease addiction body. ( Is that even possible?) I loved that old body.

I also LOVE challenges! Perhaps more so than coke? I guess we will see!

Mini Dates In LaLaDeDa world

Mine and Michael's first date was at the Olive Garden. I remember being SO excited getting ready that night. I took my time doing my hair, and make up, I painted my nails, and put on my favorite outfit. I was giddy, and happy, and in LaLaDeDa world. I was in LOVE! And I was so excited to spend time with him.

And I am still six years later, LaLaDeDa in LOVE! Except it has persevered and transformed into something more special and solid. Even on the worst of days Michael is the one I want to be with.

Our babysitter moved to another city so we have had to be a bit more creative with the way we spend our time. Last night we picked up a pizza from Papa Murphy's and watched a few of our favorite shows, downloaded from I-Tunes, in bed! It was so much fun! Our little mini dates make me smile all week long!

Moose... The Lion?

Some of you may be acquainted with Caleb's first love Mr. Moosey Moose. We picked him up during our second trip to Canada this summer, and Caleb instantly fell in love with the little guy. He loves to sleep with him cuddled to his face. Mr. Moosey Moose is currently staying at the Grand Rios Water Park- Lost and Found. We have yet to check him out of his luxurious accommodations.

In the meantime Caleb has turned to Mr. Lion for comfort. Mr. Lion is the animal we bought for him before he was born, but Caleb was never too fond of him until now. Random times during the day we will find them together. Caleb has dubbed Mr. Lion- Moose!

I am not sure what is going to happen when Mr. Moosey Moose finally arrives home...

"Mr. Moosey Moose meet Moose!"

...

The growth of dugansincahoots.com has revealed a part of myself that I don't really like.
I am terribly impatient! So far I have spent about 6-8 hours trying to work with our new site, and NOTHING has been accomplished. I want to tear out my hair! And scream, and throw our laptop out the window! Going to bed last night I actually cried over the silly thing!

Well, it wasn't only the site that brought me to tears. If only it was just that...

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has had surgery and prayerfully the surgeon removed all if it. But she has to under go radiation just to make sure. I feel terrible for her, I just can't imagine the pain, stress, and fear she is experiencing right now. It is sad.

I want to help her. And I want to take this monster and completely control it. I don't want her to have cancer. So Bam- she doesn't. And there would be no need for surgery, or radiation, or doctors. But I can't. So I have been finding myself angry that she is facing this. And angry that I can't take it away. Or make it better for her. Or even just be with her. When I talk to her on the phone she sounds brave and strong and that is because she is. And I am proud of her because she is leaning on God and trusting Him. I am imagining Him circling His arms around her and holding her close. His daughter. Please pray for comfort and healing for her.

Bella's Play

The other night Bella invited me into her "home" ( a.k.a. her room) for tea. She ushered me in and quickly locked the door. I am assuming she didn't want Caleb to join us, or maybe she just wanted to keep me in! The smile on her face was precious. She was so delighted to have me in her "home"!

She directed me to the little table, and the seat I was to sit in. My bottom is about twice the size of this little chair, but i awkwardly took my place, hoping the legs didn't buckle underneath me.

The table was set with her china and she even placed a pretty red and white checkered cloth under the teapot! Such detail! And planning. I wonder how long she was preparing for our little visit?

She served me my first cup of tea with sugar and cream, and asked me. "So Mama, How was your day?" Hmm.. such sweetness. We had a great conversation. She told me how her baby is doing these days. ( Apparently still not potty trained or sleeping at night) She shared with me how she was just shy last week at Sunday school, not sick like we thought. She asked me why Grandma and Grandpa were in Brazil. She asked me how my kids were doing, and why Nana was sick. And she told me all about her new favorite book. There is so much going on in that little girls mind!

The best part about our tea visit was watching her get up and down from the table, rocking her baby, getting more tea ( from her play kitchen), putting her baby to bed, refilling my tea cup, sipping hers, getting her baby to comfort her, and even cleaning up "spills!" All the while she was still talking to me! That girl barely sat down!

At the end of the visit , when we were washing the cups, she looked at me and said, "Thanks for having tea!" Man! She just melts my heart over and over and over again! My little girl is growing up... I am glad that I get to watch it happen! She is beautiful.

. Com

We are about to become a .com ! Well that is the plan anyways! We have bought our domain name and are busy trying/attempting/failing/crying over/screaming at/ building our website. We will still be dugansincahoots, and the blog will be on the website! We are very excited about the new upcoming birth in our family. Now if we can just figure out how to work it! Stay posted, we will announce it's official arrival- hopefully soon!

Big Boy Underpants

Potty Training has officially begun in our house. Caleb loved strutting his stuff in his new Thomas the train engine underwear. ( Anyone else think putting trains on boys underwear is hilarious?) He was running all over the place, doing his happy dance. He looked strong and confident.

However underwear boy refuses to allow his cute little butt to even touch the toilet. He preforms many neat acrobatic tricks, contorting his body, refusing to sit down on the throne. So what is a Mama to do? I am in no hurry for him to learn, but he sure does look cute diaperless.

I am on my way to the store today to go buy some bribes. Chocolate Caleb?

You got that Mama?

Mommy time with Bella

Bella and I took advantage of the fact that Daddy was gone with Caleb and took out some paint! Little brothers can get in the way of such things, but not this time! We had fun didn't we Bella?

Six Kids in a Bathtub

How would Jesus raise your Child?

Michael brought me this book (titled above) home last week and I have been engrossed in it ever since. Usually I shy away from these kinds of parenting books because I have found that most of them lack significant content and are down right cheesy. However the title alone was intriguing.

So I read, and my heart has been opened, stretched, and filled with a new kind of love for my children and my husband. The author encourages you to look at the characteristics of Jesus, and aspire to parent like he would. In any given situation we are to pause, step back from the situation, and ponder what Christ's reaction/response to your child would be. That may not be earth shattering news to you seasoned parents, but it hit me hard.

How would Jesus differ from how I parent? As moms we are constantly looking to each other for new methods and ways to raise our children. Why not just look to Jesus? So this week I asked God to show me the things that I do in my day to day that don't line up with who He is.

Talk about gut wrentching hard. I am very thankful that God is forgiving, kind, and there with me as I seek to be more Christ like.

And I am changing slowly. And I am attempting to apply this simple truth to my interaction with Gabriella and Caleb. And it is working. No, the ear -splitting tantrums, crying, and whining haven't ceased, but I am calmer, more relaxed, and focused at the end of the day.

My children are catching on that something Mommy is doing is different too, and I feel confident that they are being loved and nurtured.

Dear Babes

Lovies,

We awoke very early this morning to Daddy in the kitchen making breakfast for himself. Thank you for letting me steal a few hugs and kisses from him before you both emerged from your rooms still sleepy eyed. I suppose you guys just love to get up before the rest of the world eh? I responded with a loud and cheerful Good Morning and you ran to me full speed to give me a HUGE Squeeze! I love you guys in your p.j.'s with your hair crazy and wild, still smelling sweet from your bath the night before. Delicious.

Bella you did a great job helping me make the beds. I couldn't help but smile when you insisted that the pillows needed to go just so. Such a little interior designer! Caleb you ate your breakfast with gusto, quickly popping the berries in one by one. You looked adorable with red juice all over your pudgy cheeks and fingers. And for the record Bella, I did note that you were trying your best to please me by eating the yogurt. I could tell that you really didn't like it that much!

One of my favorite things to do is watch you kids brushing your teeth. It is positively adorable seeing you smile in the mirror with suds all over. I think that you actually eat more toothpaste than you use it to clean. Bella you did great getting dressed all by yourself! And thank you for not arguing about what you were going to wear! You both did great putting your dirty clothes into the hamper, but Caleb underwear is NOT meant for your head!

Playing in the play room was fun. I love seeing you Bella be a superstar on the stage, you were very creative using a bowling pin as a microphone. And can you teach me that new dance move?
Caleb I love the way you play an pretend guitar and strum to the beat with your fingers. I hope I never forget the way you imagine. I bet that you are going to be a rock star one day!

Snack time was, um , interesting. You guys always get super silly around that time, and everything seems hilarious to you both. Coloring wasn't much of a distraction, Caleb when are you going to learn that crayons are not food? Bella your drawings of people are very good, and I love having your art displayed on my fridge! Our walk was less eventful and more "peaceful", you are such a mommy Bella with your concerns that Caleb and Baby might be cold. I'll be sure to bring an extra blanket next time!

I am sorry that Mommy isn't much of a baker, and that I burned the cookies we made! You guys still ate most of them as scorched as they were! At least you enjoyed the pancakes with your syrup! I think that our morning wore you both out because you both took a super long nap! Actually, Caleb you took half of your nap in my arms. I didn't mind, not one bit! Sometimes I wish I could rock you both to sleep more often.

It is days like this that I just want to hold you both closer, tighter, and longer. I love your giggles, and silly questions, and sparkly eyes. I love your little hands in mine. I love the way you wrap your entire body around my leg. I love the impish grin you give when you are about to disobey and take off running. ( I don't endorse this behaviour but it sure is cute) I love it when you are playful and super lovey. I love it when you surprise me with a hug or a kiss. I love it when you bargain for a extra story. I love it when you ask for "Love".

I just love you both on the boring days and the insane ones. I am very thankful for you both. You are crazy kids are wonderful! If you only remember one thing during these 'early' years is that I loved you completely just the way you are.

I am looking forward to the tomoros and holding onto today. I love you !

Love Mama

Free if only for a bit

Incredible, wonderful, marvelous! That would be last Friday afternoon when I stepped outside of the apartment without my sweet children, and husband. It was amazing being able to slip on my jacket and shoes and in 2 seconds be outside the door. No coats, and socks to find. No babas to fill and snotty noses to wipe. I simply left, walked to my car, and sat in the drivers seat.

It was pure luxury driving alone to the mall, quiet with my own thoughts, listening to my own music. I found myself actually skipping in the parking lot! I must have looked like a dork. But I felt so carefree and relaxed. I window shopped to my hearts content and actually drank an entire cup of coffee before it was cold! It was nice for a change to be the person offering reassuring smiles to the mom of the toddler, who was pitching a fit! The whole afternoon I tried to contain myself but I was truly giddy to have that time to myself!

Michael is always offering me to get out for a bit, his intentions are to keep me sane I am sure. Usually I am reluctant to leave because I love hanging out with the family. It was great though to just be. The kids appreciated a much happier Mama when I came home too. Unfortunately for Michael he seemed to be a tad stressed after my outing. But he will have his turns too!

Oh Happy Day

Oh Happy Day!

Everyday is a new begining

Caleb knocked our Christmas tree down today...

It was so pitiful lying half in our living room and half in the kitchen. There was glass everywhere from broken red shiny balls. Such pretty balls, shattered.

I didn't see it happen. Bella did, and in between her hysterical sobs she kept asking me WHY? Caleb looked as shocked as I felt. I mean REALLY? I know that boys are CRAZY WILD but to tear down a tree? I am sure it was an accident...It must have been... Right?

I didn't yell, or scream. I wanted to. Not because he knocked it down. It is just a tree. But because after a full morning of boy in the toilet, boy running away from me, boy hitting his sister, boy putting soap all over the walls, I was at my limit.

And if you were wondering where I was during these activities, I was dealing with the girl refusing to eat her breakfast and insisting that she was hungry, the girl who scaled the kitchen cabinets looking for chocolate and cookies, and the girl who also decided that swimming in the boy's humidifier would be fun. UGH!

I really can't keep a eye on my kids anymore, especially when they scatter in different directions. Isn't parenting suppose to get easier when the kids get older? I keep waiting for that magical moment...or at the minimum to grow four extra arms!

We put the tree away after that incident. And when I say we, I mean just ME. Bella was too sad that Christmas time was over to help much, and I spent most of my time swatting Caleb's hands away from the boxes.

I was sad too. I am still sad. Most of the day was spent with me "barking" directions and orders at my lovies. I HATE days like that. I despise being frustrated with my kids, and stressed out. They are after all just little babes.

Happy 2008

My personality states that : Cari loves goals, and Cari loves Change!

It is true- I love change! It is not hard for me to say good bye to the past, and adjust to the future. I love putting up my Christmas Decorations just as much as I love taking them down. I have reorganized my kitchen cuboards and linen closets dozens of times. I have bought four different shower curtains searching for the "newer and fresher" look. I already want to repaint my kitchen and living room. I am yearning to expand our family. I am so excited to start a new life in Brazil. But...

This past year I have discovered that I am content. This is the first time in my life that I can truly say that. If change comes my way I embrace it, but in the inbetween I feel rested and calm. God really has impressed upon me to wait on Him and allow Him to lead me, despite of my common tendancy of forging on with my own plans and goals. I am thankful to be in this place.

However there is one part of me that is NOT content. The part of me that desires to know God more. The part of me that desires to battle my flesh and live according to His will. The part of me that desires to mother in love and not selfishness. The part of me that burns to be the kind of wife that pleases God. I am not content with WHO I am...

Instead of listing the 100 goals for this New Year that are swimming around in my head, I will list just one:

1. Allow God to change me

Happy New Year!