Delicious

Last night Michael and I went to Brazil....

Almost...

We went to a little Brazilian restaurant called Delicious in good ole minnetonka. And it was AMAZING! For $20 we got to experience a little bit of Brazilian heaven. Authentic steak, rice and beans, and french fries. So delicious.

It smelled like Brazil, tasted like Brazil, looked like Brazil and even sounded like our Brazil. For one whole hour we pretended we were in the world that our hearts long to be. It was wonderful.

And then we stepped out into the cold, cool night. And felt a bit sad. It was over. And here we are. Waiting. Hoping. Longing once again to be where we are suppose to be.

Um Why does this look Delicious?

Is it the yummy, cold, bottled coke? Or the greasy, crispy fries? Or is it the warm cheeses covered in homestyle gravy?

oops...

Clearly there are reasons why I shouldn't be on the computer while my kids are awake.

Look at that mournful face. Isn't she sweet. Her brother got his haircut yesterday ( although you can barely tell) and I think she was feeling left out. My baby girl decided to take matters in her own hands! Thankfully she didn't do much damage! Her Tia ( Michael's sister) was telling me today that Michael as a little boy had cut his bangs more than once. He wanted to have curly looking hair like all his friends. Apparently he has passed the hair cutting trade down to his daughter! Bella asked me if she was going to be disciplined for her crime. I told her not this time. As long as I could take a picture. She quickly agreed- and promised not to play with scissors again!

Dugans Updated

Ah yes- another update! It seems as if I can hardly let you know one step of our journey to Brazil before our direction changes, we get stuck in the mud (in this case american soil), or we travel in circles. For those of you following our story for the past year you can confirm the fact that this venture has been long, rocky, and somewhat a blind road. Thank you for walking with us!

On Monday afternoon we withdrew from the mission.

( let me pause while you all gasp in shock...)

Catch your breath yet? This decision was not easy to make. It took a couple of months of praying, and consulting with others before we knew it was the right thing to do. With our plan to open up a coffee house ministry, it simply did not make sense to stay joined with an organization that holds a different vision. Michael and I aspire to be as effective in ministry as possible- we know now that working under Betaina (the mission in Brazil) just is not the right fit for our family. It would be like smooshing a peice into a puzzle that was simply made for a different picture.

I do know what you may be thinking. "Those Dugans- going alone- rebels- walking away from the mission- head in the clouds- what are they thinking?"

Let me assure you that going "Independent" does NOT mean going solo. More than ever before we recognize the need for the church. We can not- and will not go - without a strong group of believers supporting us in prayer and accountablity. Currently we are looking for specific peoples - who's purpose is just that. If any of you are interested - please let us know!

Our meeting to withdraw went well- and we are happy to report that the doors will remain open to us if we desire to return one day. This is especially good news, because one day we would like to partner with Bethany ministries. Only time will tell. I am sorry that I don't have any juicy details of a break-up for you to pass on to others. We love Bethany and Betania! There is no drama.

So that being said, right now we are working towards going on a survey trip to Brazil. We are waiting to hear back on the status of our financial funds with the mission. The trip will cost about $2,300 - and that is amazingly what we have raised. Since we have left the mission these funds may not be given to us (instead directed towards another ministry) - but we are hoping and praying that the funds will be designated towards our goal. Please pray with us! If all works out- we could be in Brazil at the end of June.

We are also busy working on updating passports and visas. That is a story of it's own to save for another day! But is a area in need of a miracle. Please pray!

Sometimes I get frustrated with the way things are working out so sllllllllllllllooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy. But am reminded that we are in God's care and that we live for Him. I've said it before but will say it again. We are SO thankful to have people like you praying for us. Thank you thank you. Keep posted!

An Angel knocked on our door last night bearing this delicious treat! Thank you !

I love my boys

Giving Bugs Baths

This is what we do when Daddy takes Bella on dates!

My Husband- The spoiled food snob

I made a delicious noon time meal today of Macaroni and Cheese.
The kids loved it. I loved it.
Michael not so much.
In fact he only took two bites.
I am offended.
He is a food snob.

I am planning on making another delicious meal tonight.
Michael will love it.
Or he would have if he actually ate his lunch.
The kids will love it. I will love it too.
We are going to have chicken and rice.
Michael however is going to be served round two of macaroni and cheese.
Poor food snob.
He should have ate his lunch.

Why laundry is fun...

Missing Filter

Those who know my girl, know that she is very social and vocal. She loves people, and she loves to talk. For the most part she is well mannered, sweet, and kind. She shows genuine interest in what others are doing, and how they are feeling. It is a great great trait of hers and we love watching it develop as she matures.

However she is three. And a three year old chatterbox like herself is usually missing something.

A filter. And restraint.

In the past few weeks we have encountered some awkward, and potentially embarrassing moments. These are some examples of her free flowing statements.

To Andy during a hug. "Andy- you smell!"

To 93 year old Grandma Dilly." What is wrong with your face? It has lots of lines. yuck."

To mama." Ewww- you have coffee breath" and on another occasion, "You have a BIG Belly."

To Jessica. " Your van is so dirty. Why?"

To Tia Michelle." Your leg stinks."

Please don't take it personally. Like I said before she is three. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names should never hurt me. Right? I am already bracing myself for future comments in public places, perhaps to strangers. And we are actively teaching her what is nice to say and what is not- so in the meantime, if you happen upon a very truthful and open girl- know that her filter is being sought after!

It takes a villiage to raise a baby

Just the other day that was spoken to me.

Um okay. But where is MY VILLIAGE?

Ahem... people. I am raising two kids without my villiage.

Mozart in the Making?

We three were driving to Tia's with the stereo cranked up per usual.
In the rear view mior I see Caleb rocking out playing air guitar.

"Mama Mama, I like the guitar in this song!" he shouts over the music, bobbing his head in sync.

"Caleb- that is NOT a guitar. It is the drums. " Says bigger sister.

Un phased Caleb states once again. " Mama, I like the guitar in this song!"

*He was right- if you listened very carefully you could pick up the guitar playing. Amazing Music boy!*

For Michelle

Michelle- this is what happens when I actually take a shower and clean up. Looks pretty nice huh! But what you don't realize is the reality before this. Nobody really sees how crazy our house gets. Or what happens when you let things slide. When we have visitors over- they usually see this.

Me- attempting to look nice for Michael. I loved our talk at Mom's group- about putting our husbands first. What I need to work on is letting the p.j.s and sweats go.

Michael thanks you Cate.
Caleb's room- car and dinosaur free. It took about 30 mins to make it look like this.
My girl- sweetly bathed and dressed.
Caleb obviously still unhappy about his bath. What can I say? He is a boy- and I tried!


Who's living room is this? Looks pretty nice. Would love to relax in it! Where are all the Cheerios and Fishes though?
Gabriella- your room is clean! ( I wish I had a before photo) Because you would understand why it took me nearly 2 hours to clean today. We have had a line up of little guest over lately- and it showed.
What! A bed! So nice. But where are all the clothes, books and toys?

( so this is what a clean kitchen looks like!)

Michelle- you never believe that my house is messy. Let this be proof. And for any of other moms that think that I have it all together. This is the truth!

This is only 1/4 of the laundry I did today. Thankfully a Youngdale Angel folded most of it and secretly delivered it to our back door! Yes Michelle I finally agree. I do have a laundry problem!
Bedroom disaster. Looks peaceful and cozy right!
Okay- this bathroom looks clutter free- but it is full of germs and bugs. Yuck!
This is what I look like most of the time! It is fuzzy on purpose- because that is how I feel most of the time. Frazzled and fuzzy. Michael must think I am hot!

Our livingroom is...lived in. I go back and forth with letting the kids eat on the couch. This is what happens when I am inconsistent .
Look at the floor!
Caleb looking nice. This is right before lunch. And yes he is eating candy.
Bella! Still in p.j.'s too. Can you see all the lip gloss all over her face?
This is what entertained them all morning while I cleaned the house. I am a terrible mom I know! Despite rumors of me always doing fun things with the kids- sometimes I resort to this kind of activity instead. Sorry to disapoint- but I thought it was about time for everybody to know!

So there you have it Michelle. My home was a disaster! And it needed me today. It really did. It thanks me for staying home- although the flowing coffee was tempting. And to all you other moms please feel free to stop by anytime. Who knows what you will find!

Goodbye Friend

Mrs. Makemecoffee is no longer. I officially have had to say my goodbyes - I guess that is what happens with a $7 machine that gets water underneath. Sad. Even sadder- I don't have any coffee this morning.

Please Don't Say That!

Caleb last summer

Today at my mom's group someone commented in how big Caleb is getting. "He is not a baby anymore- he is a big boy!"

Shh. Please don't say that! Just because he is talking more, wearing size 2T jeans, and keeping up with the big boys does NOT qualify him for big boy status. He is still my baby... right?

It was just this morning that he brought me a big red blanket and asked me to give him loves. I snuggled him tight and held him close. Sometimes I want to just soak him in. So I did.

And then it ended, and he ran in pursuit of balls, cars, and guitars.

Why she did it.

Mama finding camera in dire straits from the hand of a sweet pixie faced three year old, asks the question why?

"Honey, why did you try to break Mama's camera?"

Pixie Girl: " Because I broke it. I broke it because I don't want you to take my picture anymore."

...hmmm, at least she is honest!

For the camera's future protection, I think the Mama may focus her camera attention on the guitar lovin boy in the family for a while.

Gabriella- My child you are loved

Yesterday afternoon Gabriella and I went on a date. The number one way she feels loved, is if you spend time talking to her, playing, and mostly listening. Knowing this we really should take her out for one on ones more often. We started our date at Barnes and Noble. We split a Java Chip Frap, and she walked around with her very own cup of coffee. I don't think she could have felt more grown up or proud of herself. We then read about 20 stories Bella style, meaning she plopped on my lap with a book, I would only read three sentences before she was off running to find me another.


After that we went in search for the perfect gift for her friends birthday. I had a few ideas, and attempted to make some suggestions but made up my mind to let her choose ( within reason) the gift she thought her friend would like. It was cute how careful she was shopping. We went to three different stores before she found the one her friend would just love. I loved her passion and zeal describing just how much the gift was going to be loved! I was pleased with her choice but surprised how often I wanted to push my own opinion on her. This was a little reminder for me to back off a little bit and let her make decisions for herself.


On our way to the play park Bella stopped to chat it up a bit with the mall's security guard. She talked forever without letting the poor man get a word in! I love how friendly Bella is. This trait of hers is one I really want to encourage her to grow in.


At the park I spent some time observing my spunky little girl. She was so concentrated on climbing up the same obstacle over and over and over again. I thought about how wonderful she is, and spent some time praying for her. She is so tender, sweet , and innocent. It is my hope that she remains this way forever.


It was during our Happy Meals that I felt such a huge burden for her. I witnessed a stark contrast between her and a few 13 year old girls close by. Sitting with me was this little girl, pure, excited about life. She was talking non stop about Princesses and castles. Joy was on her face and you can tell she felt loved. Deeply loved.


I was saddened with the realization that those teenagers near me, dressed very scandalously, with no smiles on their sweet faces probably weren't loved. And then I felt anger. Where are their parents. WHY are they allowed to dress in mini skirts that masked how beautiful they were? Why weren't they better cared for? Where were their mothers? Why did these young girls feel the need to expose themselves? The answer is obvious.


But it still makes me sad. And angry. Little girls need to be treasured. Cherished. They need to know how special they are. It's our job to show them that they are loved- far beyond what the world can offer them. It is horrifying to see the results of poor and careless parenting. At three my daughter already knows that she is beautiful, and special. As her mother I will defend her, and fight anything that tells her otherwise. God loves her more than I can even fathom, and she will grow knowing that, and hopefully sharing the same truth with her friends.


As we walked back home, I took Gabriella's little hand in mine and told her just how much I love her. She wasn't listening of course, she was too excited to see her Daddy. But I continued to tell her anyways. Today when she woke up I took her in my arms and told her again. And tonight before she falls asleep she will hear how thankful we are to know her, and to love her. And I won't stop. Ever. I won't get too busy to spend time with her. To talk to her. To let her know she is important. Ever. Because this little girl of mine needs that. And I don't take my responsibility over her lightly. I can't. And I won't.

Cafe in Brazil?

Our latest step. Since our last Brazil update a lot has happened. It began with a question that ignited first in Michael's heart. "Why are we going to work in a church? Is that really what God has for us in Brazil?" As uncertainty grew in him over the next month, he prayed for direction and that I would feel the same, if it was truly a prompting from God.

Sure enough, I came to the same conclusion during a conversation with my sister in law. I remember throwing my hands up in the air and saying, "WHAT ARE WE DOING?"

Later while sharing with Michael, it became clear to us that we needed to do some searching. What are we passionate about? What makes us willing to give up our life here to go? What makes us burn, so to speak? Do we want to work mainly with Christians? What about the unreached in Brazil? What do we have to give or offer? What are our giftings? Do we fit in with our previous plans? What is God telling us?

We had asked some of these same questions before when we first felt led to pursue missions in Brazil. But coming up with no concrete answers we decided to just go. We would work where there was work, trusting that God would reveal the "Grand Plan" over the course of our commitment.

In our place of sudden questioning we felt God telling us to dream. Suddenly the possibilities flowed. And our hearts opened up and poured out; to God , and to each other. We dreamed beyond the boundaries of "normal" missions. And we reached further into the heart of God.

It was amazing that after years of attempting to develop a vision and failing, that within a few short days we had put together the missing pieces of where we fit. Everything suddenly made sense, and we now can see our future more clearly. And to say that we are ecstatic about it doesn't even begin to describe the excitement flowing within us.

SO WHAT IS IT?

We want to open up a coffee shop/ English house. But not just any coffee shop. But a cutting-edge- coffee shop that will be a place where many lives are transformed by the power of Christ. Where we will impact the community, and people will know that we belong to God- without us even having to say a word. A place where truth will be sought and found. Where the message of living a redeemed, Christ filled life is spoken, accepted, and lived.

Our coffee house is strategic in so many different ways. We will teach English as a way to begin friendships.We will have a place where people will feel comfortable visiting and talking on a neutral ground. Our children will have the opportunity to see, take part in ministry, and reach their peers. We will be able to live in the real world, and to be a "window to Christ" to non- believers. In essence we hope that our ministry will help bridge a gap between the lost and the church. Of course an added plus is that within a few years our ministry can be financially supported by the coffee shop. This ministry is what God has been preparing us for. And we can look back at past experiences knowing that now we are better equipped to serve God in this capacity.

So where do we go from there? Slowly. At first I expected the doors to fling wide open, for hallelujah music to be playing in the background, and everything to fall immediately in place. That is the way things are suppose to happen right?

Instead we are facing seemingly endless obstacles, red tape, and so many more questions that lead to other questions. But we are more than ever at peace with this direction. It feels unsafe- and exactly where God wants us. Please pray for us as we plan, prepare, and attempt to turn this dream into reality.

We have moved our take off date to January 2009. So those close to us are going to have to deal with us hanging around for a little while longer! We will be sure to keep you updated and in cahoots with all our plans. Feel free to ask us questions and share your resources! We need all the help we can get! We love you guys, and are so thankful for your support and encouragement.

Hannah Montana

I was attempting to take a picture of Bella in her new Hannah Montana shirt. A gift from Vicki and Delaney, it is by far her new favorite thing to wear. And she does look pretty cute. However taking a picture of Bella these days isn't as easy as it use to be. Now I have to bribe with chocolate, or sweets to get her to smile.

This Hannah Montana shirt has caused some talk amongst other well intentioned moms. "I mean how COULD you Cari, let your three year old daughter watch a show like that?" Okay so nobody has been that blunt - but I have gotten some funny looks.

I could explain that we carefully screen what she watches, that we are aware of negative influence any type of media has on her, and that we aren't hesitant to take away a show that impacts her in a way we don't like...

But it is much more fun to be seen as a rebel.